I'm not sure if I posted my first query letter on here. I'm fairly sure I did but I am too lazy to find it. And now that I am entering the process again of submitting a book to agents and editors, I'm receiving a few questions from other writers how to break in.

Well, the query letter is the key to unlock the door.

And that key must be flawlessly made.

Here is the query letter I sent to agent Matt Bialer for Song of the Fell Hammer:

February 7, 2006

Matt Bialer, Agent
Sanford J. Greenburger Associates
55 Fifth Avenue, 15th Floor
New York, NY 10003

Dear Matt:

I am confident you will find my novel, titled Song of the Fell Hammer and the first of a trilogy, to be a good fit for today's fantasy market. My craft has been influenced by the work of Terry Brooks, but my style is also reminiscent of Greg Keyes and an early Stephen R. Donaldson.

As is standard in high fantasy, my novel involves a quest. Sorin Westfall, a moral, innocent young man who discovers he is a messiah, must come to terms with the fact that his only role is to murder another messiah become evil. Sorin finds himself entrenched in a very old war between Good and Evil, where the newest battle pivots on the acquisition of an ancient, enchanted hammer. But can Sorin, destined to be Good's instrument, forego his religion's doctrine and murder another human being before Evil accomplishes its end?

What happens to a Knight who has lost his faith and his family due to actions his High King ordered of him? How can a Giant, who belongs to a self-proclaimed pacifistic race, answer a call to raise arms for war, even for the benefit of the kingdom? Why does a High King stay enthroned when he has lost everyone he loves and his kingdom rises against him? How does an Elven nation, decimated by genocidal madness centuries past, reinvolve themselves in a world that despises their way of life? I use a fantasy setting to explore these character issues as well as broad subtextual ideas about love, redemption, faith, the corruptibility of power, and religion's place in an individual's life.

As you know, I have been a part of the book industry for nine years in various capacities--marketing, publicity, editing, and retail. I feel as though I have a distinct advantage when it comes to getting my story into fantasy readers' hands. For years, I have maintained and promoted websites for some of the top names in the fantasy field. I have the unique position of recognition amongst the thousands of readers that traffic these websites. I have enclosed a marketing plan for you, one that highlights the myriad opportunities for promotion that my novel and I already have. I know this trilogy will be a success not only because of my fascinating story--it will also be a success because of my connection with the genre, the readers, and many of their favorite authors.

I respect you as one of the top agents in the field, and I look forward to any feedback you are able to share with me about my novel and its potential. I am prepared to make any revisions as needed in order to meet your expectations for submission. As you know, Betsy Mitchell at Del Rey has the book, and other publishers have expressed interest. I have included my marketing plan and resume in addition to the full 214,000-word manuscript. Please let me know if you would like any other information. Once again, thank you for taking the time to read over my materials, and I anxiously await your response!

Very truly yours,

Shawn C. Speakman
Address
Seattle, WA 98103
Phone Number
Email

Enclosures:
Marketing Plan
Resume
Song of the Fell Hammer (680 pages)
SASE


Now, it is important to point out that the format of the query letter is not what you see on this blog. There are additional spaces and returns, where some portions of the letter are justified to the right. Be sure to learn the correct formatting.

Another thing, Matt Bialer is the agent for Patrick Rothfuss, Peter David, Tad Williams, Tracy Hickman, Stephen Lawhead, CJ Cherryh... you get the picture. He likes big sweeping epics for the most part and Song of the Fell Hammer matched that. I sent it to Matt first because I already knew he liked the specific sub-genre I had written in. That is expressly important. If you've written a vampire novel, don't send it to a young adult agent/editor. If you've written a fable, don't send your query to the agent for Robert Jordan. It is a waste of materials and time. Start with those who represent work similar to your own.

That said, a query letter should be set up in a certain way. You can do a Google search to discover the dos and don'ts of the process, but for me this is how it can be broken down:

1) Introduction: This is where you state your name, the title of your book, usually the word count, and what kind of book you have on your hands. Short and succinct. You'll notice I waited until the end of the query to say my word count -- that's because I didn't want the daunting number to turn people away from reading the rest of the query letter and becoming invested in it.

2) 25 word tagline and summary: If the query must be flawless, the tagline must be even more so. It must be perfect. The tagline of my first book was, "Sorin Westfall, a moral, innocent young man who discovers he is a messiah, must come to terms with the fact that his only role is to murder another messiah become evil." That is 31 or 32 words, but I would have removed some of the adjectives if I had been cornered in an elevator with an agent who wanted to know what my book was about. The tagline should entice the agent to know more and it should hold major conflict. If you read my tagline you get conflict immediately -- Sorin against evil messiah, Sorin against his own religion. These are major conflict points. Your query should have something just as enticing with just as much conflict. Boil it down to the essence of the book. I don't want to hear, "Well, there is too much stuff going on in my book." Wrong, wrong, wrong. Do you not think my book is a lot more complex than that tagline? Of course it is. But you must get at the heart of what the book is about for this part of the query letter.

3) Why the book is important: I cheated with this paragraph. Characters drive my stories so I wanted to highlight some of the themes of the book. I did this by delving into my other characters a bit. In short, this paragraph doesn't even need to exist really in the query, but an editor friend of mine thought it worthwhile to keep in. So I don't suggest doing what I did.

4) What edge do you have: I have a lot of experience in the book industry, from top to bottom. I know a lot of writers obviously. These are things that give a person an edge. If you know a pertinent author, write their name down. If you have a writing credit in a magazine or newspaper, etc., write it down. Anything you feel might give you an edge you should write here. If you have nothing, I suggest working at a bookstore for a few months; it will really help.

4) Closing: Be polite and to the point. Always thank the agent or editor for reading the query.

5) And be sure to include your contact information. You'd be amazed at how many people do not!

With my manuscript I included a marketing plan for my book. Most people have no need to include this as they don't have the breadth of experience I possess.

This is important: Every single agent and editor out there have different submission guidelines! You must adhere to all of them. That means you will spend a great deal of time rearranging query letters or manuscripts. It is all worth it and must be done. If an agent or editor receives a query or manuscript and it isn't written to their submission guidelines, you can kiss all of your hard work away and right into the trash.

Got questions? Good. Ask them. I'm here all week. Ha!

Labels: Craft, Query, Song of the Fell Hammer, Writing