Saddle Redux
Well, here I am, halfway through January 2008 and I haven't finished a chapter. Why, oh why, did that happen?
Two words: wisdom tooth.
I posted here two weeks ago that I was extremely ill. At the time, my MD couldn't do anything about it. It appeared I had a virus and that virus just had to run its course. I sat here, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, lost a lot of weight, and while the green sputum dried up some I was still in a lot of pain. My mouth and throat were pissed, and I didn't know why.
Then I remembered something I had forgotten from my youth, and it all clicked into place.
When I was 16, I was forced to endure braces. My teeth were pretty crooked and my parents made a very wise choice. But as I went through that process, my dentist at the time told me I had three wisdom teeth—two in the top that were coming in straight, and one on the bottom right that was coming in horizontally right at my back molar. He told me I'd have to have it removed, but that I had time.
That time ran out two weeks. For whatever reason, that wisdom tooth decided it wanted to see the inside of my mouth and started pushing its way upward, almost violently. It broke the surface of my gum while antagonizing that last molar, and became so infected I couldn't even swallow.
Once I realized what was happening, I drove straight to the dentist office here in Seattle. And just like I thought, it was the cause of all of my previous illness. A few days after that, I got numbed up and they popped the little mutant tooth out of my head like popping a zit.
Do I feel better for it? Absolutely. I am almost back to normal again. My jaw aches a bit but the infection is gone. I can eat again, swallow again, and sleep again. Yesterday, I felt clear-headed enough to get back to work on Chapter Five, and I am continuing on with that now. I hope to have it done by the weekend.
Personally, I blame Cardinal Cormac Pell O'Connor. He obviously does not want his story told.
So I am back in the saddle and pressing onward. Look for writing updates as soon as I finish each chapter. And as always, ask any questions you may have; I enjoy answering them.
Two words: wisdom tooth.
I posted here two weeks ago that I was extremely ill. At the time, my MD couldn't do anything about it. It appeared I had a virus and that virus just had to run its course. I sat here, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, lost a lot of weight, and while the green sputum dried up some I was still in a lot of pain. My mouth and throat were pissed, and I didn't know why.
Then I remembered something I had forgotten from my youth, and it all clicked into place.
When I was 16, I was forced to endure braces. My teeth were pretty crooked and my parents made a very wise choice. But as I went through that process, my dentist at the time told me I had three wisdom teeth—two in the top that were coming in straight, and one on the bottom right that was coming in horizontally right at my back molar. He told me I'd have to have it removed, but that I had time.
That time ran out two weeks. For whatever reason, that wisdom tooth decided it wanted to see the inside of my mouth and started pushing its way upward, almost violently. It broke the surface of my gum while antagonizing that last molar, and became so infected I couldn't even swallow.
Once I realized what was happening, I drove straight to the dentist office here in Seattle. And just like I thought, it was the cause of all of my previous illness. A few days after that, I got numbed up and they popped the little mutant tooth out of my head like popping a zit.
Do I feel better for it? Absolutely. I am almost back to normal again. My jaw aches a bit but the infection is gone. I can eat again, swallow again, and sleep again. Yesterday, I felt clear-headed enough to get back to work on Chapter Five, and I am continuing on with that now. I hope to have it done by the weekend.
Personally, I blame Cardinal Cormac Pell O'Connor. He obviously does not want his story told.
So I am back in the saddle and pressing onward. Look for writing updates as soon as I finish each chapter. And as always, ask any questions you may have; I enjoy answering them.
Labels: Craft
posted by Shawn C. Speakman | 4:06 PM
16 Comments:
"...they popped the little mutant tooth out of my head like popping a zit."
That truly will stay with me for a long time. Thanks for that mental picture. Really.
Hey man, glad to hear you're feeling better - I had my wisdom teeth cut out at boot camp when I was in the Marines (by reservist Dentists!) It was, by far, the most pain I've ever been in thus far in my life.
Now, though, I'm married, so there's that.
Just kidding. Welcome Back!
I only have one word.
"YIKES!"
Teeth... annoying things. Hell of a lot of pain.... but I guess without them eating would be kinda difficult!
I had the whole 'give it time, it's not important right now, maybe later' line given to me when one of my teeth was coming in crooked... so I had to have braces when I was 16, for that I had to have a tooth at the back pulled out... hurt like hell but I treated myself by buying The Voyage books by Brooks afterwards!
Sparkle - What a treat! ;)
Hey Shawn,
Looking for a quick line or two of advice here:
Denmon pulled his foot from the soggy clutches of mud, watching as the fog dispersed.
What is your take/ or what is the inudstries take, on this sentence construct--stylistic preferences aside. More specifically: ACTION followed by comma followed by verb ending in ING and sentence finish.
I use this type of sentence frequently in my writing, as it gives a sence of immediancy to what is happening. I think its in part b/c Terry Brooks was my main influence (early on) and he seems to use it quite a bit. So too did Jacqueline Carey in the Sundering Duology.
But i've noticed in most the books I've read as of late, that this is rarely used. Such as the Farseer trilogies and Liveship Traders by Hobb, or Name of The Wind and Lies of Locklamora, as well as the excerpt from your new book.
Is this considered something weak and to be avoided, such as excessive passive voice (I realize you want to avoid excessive anything when writing) or is it merely a question of what style and tense you choose to work in?
IncubusJax: Thanks for the welcome back. It's nice to finally be among the living again!
J.David: I echo your sentiment!
Sparkle: I had such a hard time reading after I had my tooth pulled. I don't know why. I think I just felt I had lost so much time in the previous two weeks of illness that I had to get right back into the thick of things to maintain any momentum I had. Perhaps I should have taken it easy and read... I like what you did more.
Sean: There is nothing wrong with the construction of the sentence you've put forth. The only thing I can tell you for sure is remove the verb watching. This is one of those things I learned in the first four chapters of Fell Hammer: You are already in Denmon's point of view, so the reader already knows he is watching. So there is no need to inform the reader he is watching; we already know he is.
If I were writing it, it would read:
Denmon pulled his foot from the soggy clutches of mud, the fog dispersing around him.
But that's just me. You do whatever you want with it. But there is a whole list of verbs a writer doesn't have to use because being in the character's point of view already incorporates them (don't ask for the list, although I'm sure there is one out there somewhere haha).
The thing I don't like about that sentence is that the fog dispersing and Denmon pulling his foot out of the mud seem to have very little to do with eachother, making the sentence seem like it can't make up its mind.
Is it setting the scene or moving the plot forward?
To me, it sounds as though Denmon pulling his foot out of the mud is the trigger that causes the mud to disappear. I think I'd prefer something like:
"Denmon pulled his foot from the eager clutches of the mud, the distinct sound echoing dully through the dispersing veil of fog."
It's a good question, though, and one I've often wondered myself!
~Aidan
Mightier Than The Sword
Aidan: Yup, I saw that as well. They have nothing to do with one another unless if it is important for the advancement of the story in some way and the mud is tied into the fog -- which it could be if the creature in question resides in both.
Anyway, follow your style's heart. What works for one writer doesn't work for another and vice versa. At least you are looking at styles from a craft point of view, Sean, and trying to x-ray the book to find out a writer's secrets. It's something Aidan and I have done for a few years now.
thanks guys, I appreciate the help.
Sean will reread the first few chapters, watching for verbs that don't need to be there--haha.
"I had such a hard time reading after I had my tooth pulled. I don't know why. I think I just felt I had lost so much time in the previous two weeks of illness that I had to get right back into the thick of things to maintain any momentum I had. Perhaps I should have taken it easy and read... I like what you did more"
I loved those books so much that I decided to join the forum...
So if I hadn't had crooked teeth I wouldn't know you! :P
I always treat myself to books when I'm ill or have been through something as traumatic as having a tooth pulled out!
Sean,
There is an interesting PodCast Called Poynter Online: Roys Writing tools. Tool # 6 is about using "ING" Vs. "-ED". It's only a two min. pod cast but worth while listening to.
Basically the discussion is on how "-ed" is more powerful than "ING".
I also think that "ing" put the reader more in a first person context.
For example: "He was watching the dog" vs. "He watched the dog".
The first example I imagine that I am viewing the dog through the eyes of the character.
The Second example I feel like I am watching a scene; watching the character watch the dog. And watching the dog myself as though two characters on a stage.
Maybe that's just me but that's how I interpret when I read.
Anyone else?
j.david.
I've noticed more authors that I read end verbs in "ed" rather than "ing", or go back and forth depending on the scene.
Sometimes in battle scene's you'll have something like:
"Ricky Bobby brought his sword down hard, splattering his opponent's blood and bone across the walls. He let his sword drop then, his breath coming in a wheeze. He hadn't relized how drained he was; he plopped down on the floor, the world spinning."
Salvatore does that a lot.
From The Orc King, Page 43:
"Wulfgar roared and lifted Aegis Fang above his head, eagerly accepting the challenge"
You notice that it could easily be:
"Lifting Aegis Fang above his head, Wulfgar roared and accepted the challenge."
or
"Roaring, Wulfgar accepted the challenge, lifting Aegis Fang above his head.
Battle scenes are particularly tricky, I think. You want the strong "ed" verbs but you also want the reader to be drawn into the scene and feel the excitement - to give that imminent feeling of danger, and that means "ing" in a lot of situations.
Context matters too, I'm sure. I don't know, I'm just an armature - this makes sense to me though. ;)
Hey Shawn
(and any of the other regulars in here)
Have you read Robin Hobb? Are you a fan? [Farseer trilogies, and Liveship trilogy?]
For anyone who hasn't, i highly recommend it. Her charactarization is wonderful, the consistency and depth she puts into all the players is inspiring. When you read her, you see almost every charactar develop true to themselves through dialogue, actions, and thoughts. With little overlap amongst eachother. She has some of the most well thought out charactars I have read in a long time. I won't deny that some of the directions she takes isn't perhaps where I would have prefered the stories to go, but her ability to write and develop and weave words, plots, and motifs together make her a must read.
--take this with a grain of salt, hehe, I have yet to read anything by Martin, which many say is THE must read in the genre-- A friend from work loaned me A GAME OF THRONES claiming it'll be the best book I've ever read, so we'll see.
Sean: I'm really good friends with "Robin Hobb" and I've read Assassin's Apprentice. I like it a lot. She has a very strong ability of making characters believable.
Awesome!! I would like to say you're gloating about being friends with her--haha, jk. I just said that b/c of what you said in a previous post. But I can say that I'm jealous. Anyways, look forward to the next post letting us know how the chapters are going.
Tell Merlin I said hi,
:)
Shawn--had the same horizontal wisdom tooth thing happen in my 30s. Had the thing pulled and with the exception of a minor chasm behind my back molar, much the better. Get well, I enjoy the blog!
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